Experimental
by Darktayle
Summary: If you're a young, hormonal, teenage boy and notice that your very female clone is quite attractive, what are you going to do? Experiment, right? Only, when his clone fails to dispell because she's pregnant with himself, things begin to get strange.
1. Unexpected

**Experimental  
****Chapter 1  
**_The Unexpected_

* * *

You're a boy.

More specifically, you're a pre-teen teenage boy, about four months from thirteen.

You're also a ninja.

You haven't been one for long, but you've been learning about them for half your life. Finally, you're on a team, you know an awesome jutsu...

And you've invented a technique.

Two, if you count the clone/henge conjugation.

Now, back to the main point--you're a boy. While you're not terribly well versed in the ways of puberty, you _are_ the container of a nine-tailed demon fox. This means you're sort of ahead of everyone else in certain ways, only this has caused you to momentarily halt in your growth spurt. In other words, you're a little vertically challenged.

But that's okay. You're twelve. People say you'll grow into your height eventually, and you will.

The most important thing right now is the fact that you're rather anatomically developed, and you've noticed what happens when you look at the Hokage's nudie magazines--even studying enough to make a technique from it.

Since you used attractive females as models for your 'Sexy no Jutsu', it stands to reason that your Oiroke form is attractive too.

It also stands to reason that you're kind of attracted to her, which is kind of weird, because she's you.

Still, you're a teenage boy. You can experiment.

And that's what starts the whole thing.

* * *

Naruto blinked his eyes open tiredly, memories flicking instantly back into place as he found a familiar naked form next to him. It was really quite squashed--a single bed, and two people? The two facts didn't really compute.

Shoving such meaningless things away from his thoughts, Naruto eyed the distinctly female and chakra-smelling person beside him.

Chakra wasn't the only thing she smelled of.

Simultaneously, Naruto felt proud, satisfied, and disturbed.

A kind of natural reaction for someone who'd just lost their sort-of virginity to themselves.

_Does that even count? I mean, isn't it just jerking off, but more complicated?_

Naruto pondered this while he nudged his transformed clone awake. There was technically no reason for her to still be here.

"Nrrrn?" The girl groaned questioningly, flicking an eye open.

"Hi. You awake yet?"

"No."

"Too bad. You're a clone. That was a really, really awesome trick and you're way better than my right hand, but you still have to go."

There was no point in arguing with this. She _was_ just a clone, after all--a mirror of him, only weaker. His memories and thoughts. It wasn't as though she'd be missing out on anything by dispelling.

So she shrugged, and concentrated on the instinctive notion of returning to the Energy Source, otherwise known as the Chakra Pool of Naruto.

She was really quite surprised when it didn't work.

"...I can't dispel."

"What? Why?"

"I don't know. It's like there's something blocking it."

"Like what?"

"I _don't know._ It's weird--like there's a barrier between me and the Source."

Naruto pondered for a moment. "Aw, crap. I don't get this. How about I just hit you out?"

"Kay." The clone frowned unwillingly and awaited the punch. "OW!"

"What the fuck?!"

* * *

"Hey, old man!"

The Hokage sighed. "What is it now, Naruto? Where's your team?" he blinked. "Isn't that your female form?"

"Yup."

"She actually has clothes on?"

"That's just henge clothes."

Sarutobi attempted to redirect his train of thought. _I am not a pedophile._ "Well, anyway. Why aren't you with your team? They should be arriving for a mission soon."

"I've kind of got a problem." Naruto nudged his clone, who smiled sheepishly, the expression full of female youth. "See, this clone won't dispel. I've hit her and everything. She just doesn't go."

The professor in Sarutobi was instantly roused. He looked up with new interest. "She's flesh and blood?"

"Dunno. All I know is that she can take a hit and feel it."

"It fucking hurts." The clone added petulantly.

"Hmm." The Hokage considered it. "You created her normally? The same hand seals? Did you do it any differently at all?"

"Nah. I did just make one clone, though. I normally make loads more."

"Why, in particular, did you decide to create only one, then?"

Naruto blushed. "Well...uh..."

"We'd rather not say." His clone put in helpfully.

"You may have to." The Sandaime warned. "If there's something wrong with your clones, it could have dangerous consequences. Now, what exactly were you doing out of the ordinary?"

Naruto muttered something inaudible.

"What was that?"

"I was experimenting." He repeated, louder, face a very adamant shade of red. The female clone, beside him, was copying this gesture with near identical efficiency.

An eyebrow raised. "Experimenting how?"

"Oh, come on, old man." The female complained. "I'm a teenage boy. Or, at least, I am when I'm not in henge."

"If you could make clones that could turn into hot girls, what would _you_ do?"

The implications sank in quickly. "Ah. That is...most unusual. So you-" Here, he made a gesture that would scar the poor individuals forever. "-To the clone?"

"Yes," Naruto whimpered.

"Well, then." Sarutobi mused, trying and failing to disguise his snickering. "Perhaps some form of integration happened when your chakra 'seeped' into your clone."

Both unfortunate youths cringed, a green tinge giving their already mauve faces a variety of impressive colour.

"Either way, it will have to be examined. To the hospital!"

* * *

After an extended, painful, and repeated analysis, the medic-nins were finally able to relay their findings.

"It seems as though the clone is supporting its own body unconsciously." She explained. "Something is anchoring it down--something that your chakra unconsciously recognizes as needing protection. The ability to take hits is something that I believe can be attributed to your...tenant's...distinctive abilities. The chakra recognizes that the body needs to be protected, and so makes the point of impact capable of withstanding it in retaliation. In all truth, only about sixty percent of your clone is flesh and blood."

Naruto stared, utterly unable to understand any of those words. His clone, Naruko, stood in a similar but more ladylike state.

Sarutobi, however, nodded thoughtfully. "Intriguing. SO, what exactly is it that Naruto's chakra is protecting in such a way?"

"...I'm really not quite sure how to say this." Admitted the poor medic.

"Well, make your best attempt." Sandaime smiled encouragingly, and two genetically identical forms tapped their feet.

"The best way to say it...Uzumaki-san..." She peered at the two (very young) doppelgangers in front of her, and sighed.

Not knowing which one to address, she fixed both of them with a firm stare.

"Congratulations. You're pregnant."


	2. The Wonders of Growing Clones

**Experimental  
Chapter 2  
**_The Wonders of Growing Clones_

_* * *_

Sitting cross-legged on the same hospital bed, Naruto and Naruko stared each other in the eye.

"You're pregnant."

"_We're_ pregnant." She corrected. "We're technically the same person. The only difference is my female bits."

"And the sort-of clone you're growing."

"Well, yeah." Naruko shrugged. "It makes sense that if two people who are completely the same have a kid, it'll be their clone."

"Will it be male, or female?"

"God knows."

"Kyuubi probably does."

"Bastard. I bet this is his fault."

"Same."

The four worried medics exchanged glances, and then mustered their courage.

It was time for long and extensive medical examinations.

* * *

"Your pregnancy is _not_ a normal one." A medic declared with absolute certainty.

Naruko eyed her. "No, really?"

Ignoring her barb, another continued. "The foetus--"

"The what?"

"The unborn baby."

"Oh. Carry on."

"The foetus is growing much faster than it should be."

"Meaning...?"

"Your prisoner may have something to do with this."

"I KNEW IT."

The current assembly winced at the volume of two loud voices screeching in unison.

"yes, yes, but we must focus on the matter at hand." Generic Medic 2 cleared his throat. "The point is, you'll probably give birth in the next two weeks. That's not normal AT ALL. It takes normal human females nine months."

"Well, I'm not technically pregnant. I'm just growing a clone who will probably be physical." Naruko pointed out.

"It only takes a second to make a Kage Bunshin." Naruto agreed. "And we're not creating anything new, here. I guess actual babies take that long to grow 'cause they've got a whole different body to build. But all of me is already here, so it can just copy what was done already."

"That was...surprisingly intelligent." The medic blinked.

"The Kyuubi was known for incredible regenerative powers." Another mused. "That probably helps."

"Probably."

"Yes."

* * *

"You BASTARD." Naruko screamed, emptying the contents of her barely-real stomach into the grotty toilet.

"You know you just insulted yourself, right?"

"YES I DO."

"Kami, you're moody." Naruto whistled. "I guess since you're squishing the whole pregnancy thing into two weeks, you'll have it much worse than other women."

Naruko screamed wordlessly, throwing up again and then passing out backwards. Naruto watched the resounding thump with interest, unconcerned for her safety, since he knew the chakra would protect her.

"I'm so glad I'm the original."

* * *

"NARUTO!"

The unmistakable shriek of female indignation sounded simultaneous with the resounding thump on the doors.

Naruto and Naruko froze in horror.

"Quick, hide! Into the bathroom, you can't risk the baby, and there's no way she'll go near that much vomit without being forced to!"

"What do you mean, risk the baby? I'm chakra reinforced!"

"You think that will stop her? GO!"

Trembling with fear, Naruko made her way into the putrid bathroom, taking refuge behind the sink.

Fearing for his life. Naruto reached out and opened the door.

He promptly found himself in dire need of being peeled off the wall.

Struggling back to his feet, he came face-to-face with an amused Kakashi, a mildly annoyed-looking Sasuke, and a fuming Sakura.

Cringing, Naruto looked up at them, large blue eyes begging for mercy. "...Hi?"

"NA-RU-TO!"_ S_akura intoned ominously. "_Where_ have you been? You're later than Kakashi-sensei!"

He blinked, surprised. He hadn't been sure what he'd done to invoke his teammate's wrath, but hopefully, he could actually get out of this alive. If he was lucky. "What, you mean Old Man Hokage didn't tell you?"

Sakura blinked, tirade thrown off. "What?"

"What didn't the Hokage tell us?" Kakashi inquired politely, then his nose wrinkled beneath the mask. "That you're terminally ill? I can smell the vomit from here."

"So can I." Sasuke remarked.

"I'm not ill." Naruto protested. "She is!" He pointed towards the bathroom. As if on cue, the disgusting sound of splattering sick filled the air, followed by an unhealthy flushing sound.

"We're the same person, you IDIOT!" Naruko hollered.

"Who's that?" Sakura blinked, astonished.

"I didn't know there was a girl desperate enough to hook up with you." Sasuke smirked.

"Shut up, bastard."

"Shut UP, BASTARD!" Came the hauntingly similar voice from the bathroom.

"She's not a girl." Naruto explained. "Not really. She's my clone."

"Sexy no Justu? I'd heard of that." Kakashi's eye crinkled in amusement. "So, how is it possible for a shadow clone to be sick?"

"Well, Naruko--"

"Naruko?"

"We named her, alright?" Naruto snapped, irritated. "She's going to be around for a while, so it was a good idea."

"...Carry on."

"Naruko isn't a normal shadow clone." Naruto explained. "She used to be, but..."

"But...?"

Naruko waltzed from the bathroom, looking supremely annoyed. She held a green-tinged towel in her hands, obscuring the slightly bumped stomach. "There's a very easy way to explain this." She announced. "Two words."

"Ah." Naruto nodded. "I getcha."

"...And...?" Sasuke drawled, impatient.

Naruto and Naruko exchanged a glance, and then, in unison, said two words.

"I'm pregnant."

* * *


	3. Puke and Babies

* * *  
**Experimental  
Chapter 3  
**_Puke and Babies  
* * *_

Silence reigned for a grand total of one second. It was, however, an abnormally long second.

"You're WHAT?!"

Abandoning all pretense of condescending, benign amusement, Kakashi gaped, mask stretching to accomodate. "You had sex with yourself?"

"...That is _so_ sad." Sasuke stared at the boy/girl in front of him.

"No it's not, it's actually quite a good idea." Kakashi disagreed. "I just want to know what's going on with it."

Eager to move the subject on, Naruko rushed to explain. "Well, since we're just growing a clone, it takes much less time. So I'm giving birth in two weeks." She then proceeded to recite a motherlode of technical and scientific technobabble, while Naruto listened patiently.

"I see." Kakashi nodded thoughtfully.

"...What?" Sasuke stared.

"How did _you_ know all that?" Sakura scowled.

"Clones have photographic memory." Naruto sighed.

"Ah." Kakashi nodded, as if it had just occured to him.

Meanwhile, Sasuke was very much hoping that this new revelation didn't mean that Naruto remembered that time one of his clones had caught him...well, let's leave it at that.

* * *

"Now that is most certainly not normal." The medic declared.

"You expected it to be?"

"It's not even shaped like a baby! It's completely different!"

"...So, what? I'm giving birth to a mutant baby?"

"...Let's go with that."

* * *

"Hey, Naruto, why does your clone smell like puke and babies?" Kiba inquired, curious.

"She's pregnant." Naruto explained.

Hinata blushed crimson and Shino's eyebrows raised. "I find that difficult to logically accept."

"Well, think what you want. She's giving birth in ten days."

"How does that HAPPEN?" The dog boy's eyes were wide with astonishment.

Naruto gave him a Look. "Oh, _please_. Do I really have to explain that to you?"

Shino's eyebrow disappeared into his hairline, and Hinata giggled nervously as Kiba spluttered.

Akamaru, however, seemed to be having a marvellous time. He wagged his tail and barked happily.

"Shut up, Akamaru. That is  
_not_ true." Kiba scowled. "'Course you don't have to explain...that....to me. But seriously, WHAT? She's a clone!"

"You're telling me you wouldn't do the same thing if you had a sexy female clone?"

"I didn't say that," The boy defended. "I just meant--"

"Maybe Kiba is surprised that your clone could get p-pregnant, Naruto-kun." Hinata suggested.

The boy nodded, satisfied. "Exactly." Akamaru whuffed lowly, elliciting another scowl. "Akamaru, WHERE do you hear these things?!"

"If I might ask," Shino interjected smoothly. "How is it that your clone is ready to give birth so quickly? Generally, it takes nine months."

"It's not like most babies." Naruto explained. "See, when most people have kids, there's all this funky stuff going on with genes and things. They're growing a whole new person, so they have to start pretty much from scratch. Naruko is just growing a clone, so it doesn't take nearly as long. All the genes are already there."

"I see." Shino pushed up his glasses. "So the...baby...will be a solid clone of yourself?"

"Probably." Naruto shrugged. "It's not like this sort of thing has happened before. No one knows."

It was then that he noticed that Hinata was passed out on the ground. Akamaru was kindly nudging her prone form to a soft patch of grass.

"Hey, what happened to her"

"Her mind probably exploded at the thought of their being more than one of you running around." Kiba shrugged.

It was the truth, after all.

Naruto scowled. "Shut up! How many other ninja can say that they have two of themself? My clones aren't even twins---they're _exactly the same_ as me...except when they're girls. And then they're exactly the same, except for that."

"Still."

"Urgh! Well, whatever. I need to get me and myself to the hospital so me and I can find out if I'm going to have trouble giving birth. Bye!"

All three conscious figgures stared after him.

"That was probably the weirdest thing I've ever heard."

"Agreed."

"Arf!"

Kiba glared. "No, Akamaru! For the last time, I do NOT want to do the dirty with Naruto OR his clone! Let alone _that!_"

* * *

"It's a girl." The medic proclaimed dispassionately. "....I think."

"You think."

"Hey, I'd like to see _you_ try to tell the gender of a mutated child." The man defended.

"Mutated how, by the way?"

"....Just wait ten days and you'll see."

Two pouts assaulted the medic at once. "Aww, man!"

* * *

"What are we going to do once Naruto2 is born?" Sakura inquired nervously.

"Well, depending on how fast she grows, she'll either be clone raised by Naruto or will join our team." Kakashi concluded, smoothing his mask pensively.

"Are we even allowed four people in our team?"

"Technically, it'll still be three." Their teacher rationalised. "After all, Naruto2 is Naruto's clone. They're exactly the same person.

"That makes sense, I suppose." Sakura admitted. "But it still sounds unfair."

"Are you complaining?"

"On one hand, it's an extra person in our team who doesn't turn into gas when you hit her, and we get an advantage, so no. On the other hand, it's Naruto, so yes."

"Good point."

"Kakashi-sensei! Sakura!" Naruto screamed, erupting from a tree with eyes wide. "Come quickly! I'm being born!"

"You're giving birth?" The masked man questioned incredulously. "Already? Wasn't that supposed to be in nine days?"

"Yes, but it's happening anyway! Come quickly!" With that, he shot off faster than what could be considered possible. Apparently, being born was good motivation.

The pupil and student were still for a moment.

"...Come on then, sensei." Sakura said finally. "We need to go to see Naruto giving birth to herself."

* * *

NEXT TIME: Naruto is with herself as she pops herself out of her womb!


End file.
